This post is going to be more personal this week. The topic I want to discuss is depression. Not many are aware but this mental state plagues millions of people across the world, and many are unaware of it. People who experience, or for a better word, suffer, from depression understand the meaning of no hope. A lot of symptoms of depression can include the following:
• Abnormal sleep patterns (too much or not enough sleep)
• Disinterest in most daily activities
• Memory loss
• Many more
Symptoms can vary depending on the severity and type of depression. This is all caused by an abnormal imbalance in your brain causing low levels of dopamine or serotonin.
Depression hurts. And I’m not trying to sound like a Cymbalta commercial for antidepressants. It’s an illness that can physically harm you. Reasons as to why depression begins vary as well. It is an illness that is hard to crack, and is very dependent on all of the circumstances that one faces to cause depression.
Growing up, I faced a lot of situations a young girl shouldn’t have had to face, and extreme poverty wasn’t the least on the list. Once I finally graduated into high school, it all began to hit me. I was tired every day and my out of school activities no longer pleased me so I dropped out of dancing, singing, acting and softball. My grades slipped and I dropped from my high honors classes to academic even though I was still failing those, too. By my junior year, I spun out and almost became a high school dropout. My numbers of worries increased as well as the number of scars on my arm, and then I was committed to Western Psychiatric in Oakland after my first attempt to commit suicide. There I was treated for clinical depression stemming from a traumatic childhood.
I used this to excuse myself and I abused my medication as a way to cope. After a small down fall again senior year, I realized this is no way to live. People who suffer from this try to find a comfort in their medications and the stupid therapy that the certain quacks say are “designed to help the coping method”. They’re completely wrong. There is no cure for depression. Only to ease the pain that’s created in your mind. Medications help greatly for people that have such a chemical deficiency that they can’t function without it. However, the remedy that many depressives, such like me is the answer that lies within. It sounds deep and metaphorical but it’s actually all within you. And find the answer in you when you’re trying to solve your troubles. The question that many depressives stutter and stammer over is “What do you want?” They fail to come to understand what they really want in their lives. And you, yourself, are the main controller of your own life. I always enjoyed pleasing people, but I never attended to my own needs, and I was at a loss when this question stumped me. But with true time to think about life and what I want, it came to me. And it definitely can come to any depressive who really sits down and thinks about what they would like in their lives or what they want to do. The answer is not in medication or faulty therapy. It’s you.